Simple rule

In discussion with a few of my friends we came to a conclusion that many share in the lifestyle. Simple politeness is gone from the lifestyle. The etiquette that was instilled in me as a child. Simple things like respect towards one another to keep the world civil, both in the respect of you elders and betters as well as those beneath you. If I was nasty to a waiter in a restaurant because they were a waiter I was reprimanded for it. It did not matter that I was the customer he was doing me a service and I had to be polite.

I expect from a slave politeness but I also give servility to them. They might like being called a dirty f…..k… Bitch some times and I do to help them attain where they want to be. 90% of my interaction with them is quiet and without the vulgarities of vanilla life. SO I have a very simple house rule politeness at all times..

A ponderance on caging

Caging came up in another blog I read and I had a laugh. It made me remember the old rule on leashes. It a slave has a leash on and it hangs free with neither the slave or the dominant holding it it used to mean that person was offering themselves to anyone in the room. Should some one take hold of the leash then they had control over the slave. Since there are no rules in a large book then for me if I caged a slave and left them with no sign stating ownership I feel it would be doing the same as if I let go of a leash. The only thing that would stop me from gong up to a caged slave and having some fun with her is I am a strong believer in protocols, which really are based on common etiquette. I would have no problem if I was told the slave was an offering to all or if I was asked to play.

Ny first public play occurred many years agao and did not have th erules that so many think exist in the lifestyle. Dominants would gather in one room and have a drink while in the other room the slaves stripped and knelt when they entered and waited. Waited not for their Doms but by any dominant in the room. There was no choice except not to show up. SoO it did not matter whether you were in a cage or on a leash whether you like one dominant over the other.
We were just happy to play. Now I see the influence of advertisers show desire as rightful needs we want out perfect ideal and that to me had taken so much fun out of the lifestyle. No spontaneity no fear of what might happen just following a script.

Safe , I don't think so!

Safe is not a word I would ever use in the description of the lifestyle or those in it. I find it is used too often and more as a carrot to entice then anything else. Many years ago when clubs were dark and dank hankie codes were the only way of communicating. In that time there were many combination of where the hankie was and it’s colour which stated what the person was and into. Now I have racked my brain and I do not remember any combination of the above that would tell you some one was safe.

Now I do realize that there is a great trend in the vanilla world to rubberize everything we have to where helmets to ride a bike, our children cannot play tag because it is aggressive and the list goes on and on. I think if you join a football team you know that there is a chance of injury. I do not remember any team stating they were safe. Hockey no, Lacross no anywhere or time there is physical contact of an aggressive nature there is a chance of injury. No one I know of would look me in the eyes and say I play contact sports because I know I am safe from injury.

So for me the word safe should not be used so liberally. The lifestyle is not safe it is an extreme sexual foreplay at the least. It can hurt your body you mentality and your self worth. It is not meant for the weak of mind and should not be water down in anyway to please the trend set in the vanilla world or make it easier for acceptance. Like an extreme sport you have to know the rules and risks going in. This one there are no rules set in stone. I do not believe that there is a save way versus an unsafe way to participate. You cannot rely on another’s experiences to keep you safe. You have to read, go to munches and play parties where you can watch and see. You have to realize that a spanking in a fantasy is one thing and not sitting down for a few days without jumping out of your skin might not be the experience you are looking for. So before asking for twenty tight ones with a cane try a few ass slaps first.

Last tid-bit of this semi rant. YOU whether Dom or slave, submissive or top are making the decision to play you and only you are responsible for your safety. If because some one says they are safe or if you do it this way it is safe does not mean your safety is ensured.

On the other hand

I was at a munch last night, something I had not attended for about a year. I was pleasantly surprised to meet Agdistis there with her new partner. Lovely chatting with a newbbie to the lifestyle to hear her ideas and concepts so nice to see the energy she puts forth being that this is the start of her journey. IT is funny how much the lifestyle had changed and how many degrees have formed. IT is also funny how discoveries are made when sitting talking with others. A new Domme found out how much more her sub would like to go in the service end and staying in role, which she seemed to be quite happy about.

I also sat for a bit with a friend that had split from his Dominant recently. Though he presented himself as being happy marching off to a play party with his toy bag he was not the same talkative lad that would at times tease his Dominant. More like Bob Cratchet after loosing tiny Tim than a man off to have his dark desires realized.

Last a small rant I am sadden to say that I find many of us older ones are letting slip the values that we had held to and defended so hard, because of lack of work ethics , fashion or we are getting tired . I am saddened by the lack of protocols and behaviour accepted.

On the other hand I am glad to see the enthusiasm is present in the new ones to life style and was encourage last night by a few bright hopes and look forward to hearing more about their journey.

Fear

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A lovely sensation at times for a slave or sub Fear is. It brings anticipation, intensity and extreme sensitivity to all around them. It starts all those chemicals and endorphins up in the body. It wets their loins you could say for what will happen next for the slave a bit of fear is a catalyst at times.

Fear in Dominant is unacceptable. The fear of failure, of ridicule or of not pleasing the slave, all fears that can enter into a Dominant soul. All do not belong there. Making excuses so as to avoid confronting them is also unacceptable.

The greatest fear that to me destroys sessions and relations is the fear of injuring. My god you are the ones supposedly in control if you cannot control your fear please do not call yourselves Dominants and above all do not play or own slaves. I grow tired of hearing the whining of Dominants that profess to be strong-minded and in character yet fear decision-making . Do I hit her ten or twelve times best error on the safe side. What a Masterful statement just makes you want to be be ill does it not. Protocols and rules are too much trouble for the new Dominants I feel much easier to allow slaves to decide on their own so the Dominants can have reason to punish. Well I hate to tell you but if you own a slave and feel like whacking her ass till she wet on both sets of her cheeks that is your right as an owner you do not need reason for that nor her permission. You need to buck up a bit stand up straight and realize that being a Dominants is a lot of work if you fear the work or the results best not try as you have failed already.

Please understand this before you contact me to be mentored as a Dominant. If you are a slave best make sure you understand the meaning of the word slave.