I do not see the need for those of weak wills to pick out this day so that they can announce their impending failure to the world. Stop smoking, diets , wanting to change their lives and of course exercise. You can easily see that after a night of parting and the realisation of another year passing the drive to change is strong. Why though rely on some thing that has constantly failed you in the past your strength of will. Looking in the mirror you will see just how far that has helped you in the East.
So why not get outside help then contact a dominant and I am sure once the contract is signed you will achieve your goals. I do not mean we have cures for major illness but we do know how to change and control people that wish it. We can use various methods such as the horse ride. A treadmill is needed the addicted one get on the treadmill when ever they want a cigarette a time is set and speed and every time they do not maintain it they are buggy whipped. OR how about the big chill every time you have a cigarette you loose a piece of clothing for those not into pain of course if you are a chain smoker you are working naked for most of the day. We run wonderful boot camps and enjoy our work immensely. SO instead of those faithful word I resolve to just contact you r neighbourhood dominants and give them a shot. Unless you really fear what you desire!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Lunch
Funny emails, chats blogs and threads all forms of communication yet the old liquid lunch or at least as liquid as I can do now can reveal so much about people and relations. Openness occurs even with out the beer as if you more easily em brass the trust set out at such events. So that said I met some a friend of a friend from the states very enjoyable person Look forward to chatting with her more in the future. I found out that in my friend who introduced us has gone through so many adventures in the short period of two weeks. I see many fears have fall and tastes have change I would have to say her growth rate is phenomenal and quiet exciting to be a small part of it. It is not always perfect the development of our lives but it is so exciting when we dare to step and increase our vulnerability by revealing a little more of our selves to others.
Now why am I labeling this under fear well I cannot think of anything more fearful for my self then reveal my darkness to others. When others do this with such easy it impresses me. I have always said knowledge is the most powerful weapon I give it in distorted blurbs and hidden in phrases never quite saying the entire truth instead leaving the truth hidden in layers of words.
So I am impress with my friend, old and new. Yes even a little with myself wonderful what lunch can do for you !
Now why am I labeling this under fear well I cannot think of anything more fearful for my self then reveal my darkness to others. When others do this with such easy it impresses me. I have always said knowledge is the most powerful weapon I give it in distorted blurbs and hidden in phrases never quite saying the entire truth instead leaving the truth hidden in layers of words.
So I am impress with my friend, old and new. Yes even a little with myself wonderful what lunch can do for you !
Monday, December 15, 2008
Incentive ideas for Holiday parties with your slave
Inventive ideas for Christmas
1. Ting a ling bells are always great nipples testicles ankles and wrist collars with belles. Certainly a slave bouncing around doing his tasks will only lend to a festive spirit with the tinkling.
2. The Christmas goose as per the Christmas Carol 12 days of Christmas. Each day being the number of fingers used would be fun on the twelfth day ten fingers and two fists yep that makes twelve does it not.
3. Oh Christmas tree well if you attach the hand to the ankles then bring his feet over so he is resting on his shoulders. Spread the ankles wide that sort of give a shape of a tree. Clamps with bells can be attached to his testicles down around his ankles then to his nipples. You can sting garland hang ornaments and of course the star has to go on or in his ass to be the highest.
4. Chestnuts roasting well this one are easy hot towels then a good close shave followed by putting the testicles in a bucket of snow. They should shrivel up and have a similar look as roast chestnuts. Now for the hot part lovely hot wax dripped on. Festive coloured candles would be nice to use.
5. Stuffing the turkey always a fun thing not hard to do just see how much of what you like can be inserted and held. Grapes nuts carrots Potatoes the choice is yours just grab the penis and testicles and with a little oil insert the desired ingredients. A nice surprise for the dear little slave includes some ginger root with the mix Tape the cheeks together and watch the fun. There will be a lot of gobbling and prancing around I am sure. Do not forget to baste or oil well another variation is to grease every thing including his hands after applying the tape and then tell him he can empty as soon as he can get the tape off that could be good for hours of entertainment depending on the tape job and the amount of oil.
6. Hark the slave does song attach the testicles to the ankles in a squatting position and apply a heat rob of sort to his testicles and in his anus and see how much of a soprano he is give him a Carol to sing when it is over then let his balls go if he does not sound in key well do it over and over till he gets it right.
7. Joy to the world my ass is red. Well simply said a paddling for twelve minutes Oh just to make sure it gets red make sure the ass is nice and cold a nice bucket of snow is always a good thing.
8. And now we don our gay apparel well pretty obvious well take any slave. Get red, white, green stay up stocking matching panties and bra with a some thing pretty for his neck get a skirt that covers but not that well and a slut top for him shoes would be wonderful the higher the heel the better causes them to walk slowly. You can put on make up and a wig just make sure that noon could mistake him for anything then a man in women’s clothing. Then toss him in the car and take him for a ride. Try to find a quiet corner store of gas station and have him pump the gas or go in and buy some thing that he has to ask for. Hopefully a woman is working and you have scope out some thing that is hidden away. If the woman is bored she just might make a few suggestions for you as what to do with him. This should bring about Christmas colour quiet quickly and put everyone in the spirit of giving.
9. Ding dong it is not so long. The pulling and stretching of the testicles and penis. Every Dominant in the room is given the chance to stretch and pull the slaves penis and balls a total of five minutes each before and in-between the anatomy is cooled down in snow when each Dom is finished the slave is measured what ever the larges measure that Dom wins a tongue bath of any part of their body. Should there be any accidents on the part of the slave well he must lick it up and continue if there are too many accidents add a bit of Tabasco sauce with is dripping that should put the fire in him to play properly at Christmas.
10. We three dominants, just those three dominants with strap-ons dildos or their own equipment and a slave with two orifices well guess that means a male slave. Play the carol we three Kings and when a new king starts to sing switch positions of the Dominants. Play the carol three times. Who win s the dominants silly the one not in the slaves ass or mouth when the carol stops decides if they should play the carol three more times depending on how my dominants have not yet cum
11. OH little dicks this is easy of all the male slave the one with the shortest dick is spanked twenty five times on his ass and then 24 on his dick with a six inch plastic ruler by all in the room and this is the time when a small number of is a good thing guests that is not penis size.
12. T’is the time for bondage and follies. The poor slave that has had to endure these past 11 tortures should get a rest and a break but hell that is a slaves lot in life tied the poor boy up in your favourite position and then reflect on how much you like to give and he likes to receive so have fun. HO HO HO
What you do not have a slave to do this to just let me know I will direct you to one or two
1. Ting a ling bells are always great nipples testicles ankles and wrist collars with belles. Certainly a slave bouncing around doing his tasks will only lend to a festive spirit with the tinkling.
2. The Christmas goose as per the Christmas Carol 12 days of Christmas. Each day being the number of fingers used would be fun on the twelfth day ten fingers and two fists yep that makes twelve does it not.
3. Oh Christmas tree well if you attach the hand to the ankles then bring his feet over so he is resting on his shoulders. Spread the ankles wide that sort of give a shape of a tree. Clamps with bells can be attached to his testicles down around his ankles then to his nipples. You can sting garland hang ornaments and of course the star has to go on or in his ass to be the highest.
4. Chestnuts roasting well this one are easy hot towels then a good close shave followed by putting the testicles in a bucket of snow. They should shrivel up and have a similar look as roast chestnuts. Now for the hot part lovely hot wax dripped on. Festive coloured candles would be nice to use.
5. Stuffing the turkey always a fun thing not hard to do just see how much of what you like can be inserted and held. Grapes nuts carrots Potatoes the choice is yours just grab the penis and testicles and with a little oil insert the desired ingredients. A nice surprise for the dear little slave includes some ginger root with the mix Tape the cheeks together and watch the fun. There will be a lot of gobbling and prancing around I am sure. Do not forget to baste or oil well another variation is to grease every thing including his hands after applying the tape and then tell him he can empty as soon as he can get the tape off that could be good for hours of entertainment depending on the tape job and the amount of oil.
6. Hark the slave does song attach the testicles to the ankles in a squatting position and apply a heat rob of sort to his testicles and in his anus and see how much of a soprano he is give him a Carol to sing when it is over then let his balls go if he does not sound in key well do it over and over till he gets it right.
7. Joy to the world my ass is red. Well simply said a paddling for twelve minutes Oh just to make sure it gets red make sure the ass is nice and cold a nice bucket of snow is always a good thing.
8. And now we don our gay apparel well pretty obvious well take any slave. Get red, white, green stay up stocking matching panties and bra with a some thing pretty for his neck get a skirt that covers but not that well and a slut top for him shoes would be wonderful the higher the heel the better causes them to walk slowly. You can put on make up and a wig just make sure that noon could mistake him for anything then a man in women’s clothing. Then toss him in the car and take him for a ride. Try to find a quiet corner store of gas station and have him pump the gas or go in and buy some thing that he has to ask for. Hopefully a woman is working and you have scope out some thing that is hidden away. If the woman is bored she just might make a few suggestions for you as what to do with him. This should bring about Christmas colour quiet quickly and put everyone in the spirit of giving.
9. Ding dong it is not so long. The pulling and stretching of the testicles and penis. Every Dominant in the room is given the chance to stretch and pull the slaves penis and balls a total of five minutes each before and in-between the anatomy is cooled down in snow when each Dom is finished the slave is measured what ever the larges measure that Dom wins a tongue bath of any part of their body. Should there be any accidents on the part of the slave well he must lick it up and continue if there are too many accidents add a bit of Tabasco sauce with is dripping that should put the fire in him to play properly at Christmas.
10. We three dominants, just those three dominants with strap-ons dildos or their own equipment and a slave with two orifices well guess that means a male slave. Play the carol we three Kings and when a new king starts to sing switch positions of the Dominants. Play the carol three times. Who win s the dominants silly the one not in the slaves ass or mouth when the carol stops decides if they should play the carol three more times depending on how my dominants have not yet cum
11. OH little dicks this is easy of all the male slave the one with the shortest dick is spanked twenty five times on his ass and then 24 on his dick with a six inch plastic ruler by all in the room and this is the time when a small number of is a good thing guests that is not penis size.
12. T’is the time for bondage and follies. The poor slave that has had to endure these past 11 tortures should get a rest and a break but hell that is a slaves lot in life tied the poor boy up in your favourite position and then reflect on how much you like to give and he likes to receive so have fun. HO HO HO
What you do not have a slave to do this to just let me know I will direct you to one or two
Center pieces
It is a tradition for us to have a centre piece for the holiday parties and dinners. Some hints from an evil mind. Females display nicely either spread eagle or other position. The hands an mouth can be used to hold candles so the guests can see what they are plucking up off of her. You can use the arm pit and spread legs to offer different selection such as meat , fish , veggies or salads. Ice can be built in to the crotch to keep the wine chilled as well as bits of fruit for the purpose of decorating.
My favorite is using them as the desert table center piece. Drizzle some chocolate sauce across the pussy then insert some fruit to open areas up cakes can be displayed on the legs and arms. The belly can hold more sauce a bowl is optional. Chips and crackers all sorts of things you can do.
Preparations of the slave. This is one of the times I wash my slaves. A good scrubbing first then tonal body shave this will take a good hour as I go over and over all area till I am sure no hair or fuzz exists. Followed d by a good internal wash out of all areas. You cannot have the center piece let go of some wind it just puts people off the dip. Then a norther good scrub I have then stand out side of the bath and use a good strong brush and soap them up really good then I rinse every square inch of them just tot make sure no one gets a hair in their food. Use a good quality olive oil and rub then down once the are in position so they do shine then start the decorating about half and hour before presentation.
You can use bows or garland with the candles or just the festive food might be enough. Once desert is over just flip her and use her to hold candles, drinks or flowers the placement area become obvious when she is in this position. Or start a new tradition such as Carrol spankings or the Christmas carrot insertion how many can she take.
And that was my Martha moment
CLoud
My favorite is using them as the desert table center piece. Drizzle some chocolate sauce across the pussy then insert some fruit to open areas up cakes can be displayed on the legs and arms. The belly can hold more sauce a bowl is optional. Chips and crackers all sorts of things you can do.
Preparations of the slave. This is one of the times I wash my slaves. A good scrubbing first then tonal body shave this will take a good hour as I go over and over all area till I am sure no hair or fuzz exists. Followed d by a good internal wash out of all areas. You cannot have the center piece let go of some wind it just puts people off the dip. Then a norther good scrub I have then stand out side of the bath and use a good strong brush and soap them up really good then I rinse every square inch of them just tot make sure no one gets a hair in their food. Use a good quality olive oil and rub then down once the are in position so they do shine then start the decorating about half and hour before presentation.
You can use bows or garland with the candles or just the festive food might be enough. Once desert is over just flip her and use her to hold candles, drinks or flowers the placement area become obvious when she is in this position. Or start a new tradition such as Carrol spankings or the Christmas carrot insertion how many can she take.
And that was my Martha moment
CLoud
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Breathing
After a few surgeries and having tubes coming out of all sorts of areas, you tend to have an appreciation for breathing. So while my own is decent right now I do listen a lot to the breathing of slaves.
There is the first breath. The first time a slaves begins to undress before you notice they take a deep breathe almost as it they are saying what have I gotten into. The more experienced slave has normal breathe until the session begins. Some hold a breath when they have been caught doing an oops. The there is the panting during pain trying to catch their breath and hold it for the next stroke thinking that will fortify them. When in flight the breathe is no longer laboured until they reach their maximum then there is the giant release as all air leaves them .
I do not do breath play but I do love to listen as they suffer for their enjoyment. Such a pleasant noise like a symphony in it's tempo and strength.
CLoud
There is the first breath. The first time a slaves begins to undress before you notice they take a deep breathe almost as it they are saying what have I gotten into. The more experienced slave has normal breathe until the session begins. Some hold a breath when they have been caught doing an oops. The there is the panting during pain trying to catch their breath and hold it for the next stroke thinking that will fortify them. When in flight the breathe is no longer laboured until they reach their maximum then there is the giant release as all air leaves them .
I do not do breath play but I do love to listen as they suffer for their enjoyment. Such a pleasant noise like a symphony in it's tempo and strength.
CLoud
Age is a funny thing
I was in Ottawa this past weekend. I saw some old friends and talk to new ones. I did not play nor did I miss not playing. I was Agdistis and watch her with open eyes absorbing everything. I also met with Lady Pearl. Another newbie, we chatted for a while and then she was going to join into a scene. Well for a newbie having come out just a few weeks ear;ier had an experience slave yelping and screaming, twisting on the post and probably wishing he had not offered to be involved with her training.
Teh sounds of the night were gorgeous there are certain types of noise slaves make. We could hear morningstar groaning with the odd scream a male slave having his balls beaten. That sound was sort of interesting. There was the slap against skin followed by the sound of throwing a rock into mud, quite sweet actually.So I guess he did have a right to scream.
So I did not play but I enjoyed the conversation, the company and of course, the lovely songs provided by slaves in agony. No not a rock group just slaves in agony. So I guess getting older is sort of nice you can sit back andrelax why enjoying the senses of sound and light.
Teh sounds of the night were gorgeous there are certain types of noise slaves make. We could hear morningstar groaning with the odd scream a male slave having his balls beaten. That sound was sort of interesting. There was the slap against skin followed by the sound of throwing a rock into mud, quite sweet actually.So I guess he did have a right to scream.
So I did not play but I enjoyed the conversation, the company and of course, the lovely songs provided by slaves in agony. No not a rock group just slaves in agony. So I guess getting older is sort of nice you can sit back andrelax why enjoying the senses of sound and light.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Ottawa
Ottawa
I am off with friends to visit the fair city of Ottawa do some shopping and attend a party at Breathless. Lady Kate will be the host for the party. She is a well-established Dominant in the area. I look forward to seeing some old friends, to introduce Agdistis and of course to meet others. If you read my bogs, seen my profiles and are in attendance please say hello. Dominants, slaves does not matter we love to chat and talk.
If you are interested in playing well we can with female or male slaves Agdistis loves to torture the male anatomy and I do have a penchant to doing the to women.
I had hoped to bring bob the male slave I have used in mentoring of Agdistis but he availability does not fit with my needs so he has been released to Agdistis.
There is also a planned trip to a saddle shop, which should be interesting.
I am off with friends to visit the fair city of Ottawa do some shopping and attend a party at Breathless. Lady Kate will be the host for the party. She is a well-established Dominant in the area. I look forward to seeing some old friends, to introduce Agdistis and of course to meet others. If you read my bogs, seen my profiles and are in attendance please say hello. Dominants, slaves does not matter we love to chat and talk.
If you are interested in playing well we can with female or male slaves Agdistis loves to torture the male anatomy and I do have a penchant to doing the to women.
I had hoped to bring bob the male slave I have used in mentoring of Agdistis but he availability does not fit with my needs so he has been released to Agdistis.
There is also a planned trip to a saddle shop, which should be interesting.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Looks like winter out there
Ah the first snowfall I can see slave Sand subs naked in the snow. Is that not exciting! One tied to tree out stretched arms legs wide apart with that lovely glow that winter air caused to slave's skin. A warm pink colour does put me in the spirit. So a lovely look of fear in their eyes as they dart about looking to see if they have been seen. Of course the only ones to have seen them would be reindeer perhaps an elf or two. I guess that is why they are on their best behaviour when they are tied up outside. Of course it could be they are cold but I think their nipples give them away. Nice and erect stretching the limits the skin put on them obviously they are excited and enjoying them selves.
To complete this picture all we need are some snowpersons, snow angels and of course icicles now lets see how do we get icicles to form well I guess some sort of running water Now how are those bladders doing!
CLoud
To complete this picture all we need are some snowpersons, snow angels and of course icicles now lets see how do we get icicles to form well I guess some sort of running water Now how are those bladders doing!
CLoud
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Control
(After I reread this I realized how off track I got....sorry)
littleone asked what my definition of control is?
I spent some time thinking about this and it has taken me a long time to try and write it out. I am not sure what I am avoiding but maybe I just don't know exactly what how to define it. I decided to write out what I 'think' I desire and that might help define control for me. It feels weird to write about what I want but I think it will help me.
I really would like for my mate to step up and take the reins. I want him to be 'the head of the household' so to speak. Some people I have met say that I want someone to micromanage me and I don't' see it that way. I would like to have the control step out of the bedroom and into our day to day life. Don't get me wrong I am really enjoying the sexual side of our life.
Side step to last night......
My mate came into the bedroom and told me to take my clothes off, lay on the bed and wait for him to come back and use me. OMG! My clit started to throb right there. I did as I was told and when he came in he really did 'use' me. It really did feel like he was the one in control. In the previous months I had felt that he was going threw the motions to appease me. Over the last month or so I feel that he is the one in control. I am there to serve and please him and that feeling has been amazing. But now I am like a kid in the candy store and I want more and more.
Our pattern lately has been up and down. We will have a great time for about a month and I feel that he is really enjoying things and embracing it and then there will be this step back from him. He will just decide that he doesn't want to take the lead int he bedroom and it throws me for a loop. I don't know what to do. I have been in this submissive space for a while and now he wants to just step out of it. I usually just go with it, but it tends to drag on and on. I feel confused and a bit lost. When I finally have the guts to ask about things he will say oh sorry and then he will flip back, and we will have a month or so like last night.
Go back in time a few months.......
A few months ago my mate told me that maybe I should start looking for a Dom online again because he wasn't up for the challenge. We spent a long time talking and trying to figure things out. One of things I love most about my marriage is that we have pretty good communication...not the best but good. I figured I would wait for a bit and see if that was how he was really feeling. I asked Sir Micheal to talk to him. This is the beginning of the up and down of things. It's frustrating for both of us. I figure that looking online for a Dom might be a good idea.
As I write this I am thinking that maybe I just need more consistency. When my mate is taking control things feel right or in place for me and then we hit a bump and it all goes to hell. I guess little one I am searching for more constancy in the control. I want to be allowed or granted the the right to be submissive and have it last more than a month. I do also want the level of sexual control to reach outside the bedroom but I think consistency is the first step.
Honestly I don't know what to do from here. I am honest about what I want and how I feel. I am honest about who I am and what I desire. I feel I do all the right things but it doesn't play out. am I asking too much? Am I expecting to much? I am open to hearing how others opinions because I know I am doing something wrong??
~fledgeling~
littleone asked what my definition of control is?
I spent some time thinking about this and it has taken me a long time to try and write it out. I am not sure what I am avoiding but maybe I just don't know exactly what how to define it. I decided to write out what I 'think' I desire and that might help define control for me. It feels weird to write about what I want but I think it will help me.
I really would like for my mate to step up and take the reins. I want him to be 'the head of the household' so to speak. Some people I have met say that I want someone to micromanage me and I don't' see it that way. I would like to have the control step out of the bedroom and into our day to day life. Don't get me wrong I am really enjoying the sexual side of our life.
Side step to last night......
My mate came into the bedroom and told me to take my clothes off, lay on the bed and wait for him to come back and use me. OMG! My clit started to throb right there. I did as I was told and when he came in he really did 'use' me. It really did feel like he was the one in control. In the previous months I had felt that he was going threw the motions to appease me. Over the last month or so I feel that he is the one in control. I am there to serve and please him and that feeling has been amazing. But now I am like a kid in the candy store and I want more and more.
Our pattern lately has been up and down. We will have a great time for about a month and I feel that he is really enjoying things and embracing it and then there will be this step back from him. He will just decide that he doesn't want to take the lead int he bedroom and it throws me for a loop. I don't know what to do. I have been in this submissive space for a while and now he wants to just step out of it. I usually just go with it, but it tends to drag on and on. I feel confused and a bit lost. When I finally have the guts to ask about things he will say oh sorry and then he will flip back, and we will have a month or so like last night.
Go back in time a few months.......
A few months ago my mate told me that maybe I should start looking for a Dom online again because he wasn't up for the challenge. We spent a long time talking and trying to figure things out. One of things I love most about my marriage is that we have pretty good communication...not the best but good. I figured I would wait for a bit and see if that was how he was really feeling. I asked Sir Micheal to talk to him. This is the beginning of the up and down of things. It's frustrating for both of us. I figure that looking online for a Dom might be a good idea.
As I write this I am thinking that maybe I just need more consistency. When my mate is taking control things feel right or in place for me and then we hit a bump and it all goes to hell. I guess little one I am searching for more constancy in the control. I want to be allowed or granted the the right to be submissive and have it last more than a month. I do also want the level of sexual control to reach outside the bedroom but I think consistency is the first step.
Honestly I don't know what to do from here. I am honest about what I want and how I feel. I am honest about who I am and what I desire. I feel I do all the right things but it doesn't play out. am I asking too much? Am I expecting to much? I am open to hearing how others opinions because I know I am doing something wrong??
~fledgeling~
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Feeling Lost
K wrote from - http://notquiteplanned.blogspot.com/ "So I've been rebuilding, from the ground up, to learn how to identify myself through only myself. Because if I can't do that, then I'm not ready to move on and I'm certainly not ready to belong to someone else because as long as I'm still clinging to that bit of identity I had in that relationship I am still owned in part - even if I've been released."
This quote from k's blog really made me think. Ever since i was released from Cloud i still think of what He would have me do or how He would help guide me threw a situation. i think about His thoughts more than Sir Micheal. Even to this day i still look to Cloud for advice. i value and trust His opinion. Does that mean i haven't truly left? Then i read in a comment by Cloud this afternoon: "as far as taking you back from what you write I do not think you really ever left"
When i first meet Cloud online i knew within a few emails that i could trust Him. i tend to really trust my intuition and i am usually right. (Not to pat myself on the back or anything it's just something i trust in myself) Even with this recent Dom i met online i looked to Cloud to help me. Deep down i knew this Dom wasn't right for me but i still looked to Him for advice. i wonder why?
i am SOOOOOOO longing for a Dom in my life right now. i feel i need the control more now than ever. i have felt this burning desire inside me for so long. It is like i am half way there but never get all the way. UGH!!!!!
i need the control. i want the control. It's not just sexual. i desire the day to day control. i desire to get my mind refocused on my submission. That is something i find i struggle with on my own. i try to focus my submission when i am with Sir Micheal or my mate, but there is always this sense of something missing. It's like i am surrounded by people who love and care for me but just can't give me all i desire. Am i being selfish or do i just know what i want?
i feel at a crossroads of sorts. It's like i could try and move forward with my submission or i could just push it back down and move on as things are now. i have been on my own for quite some time now and i am starting to feel lost again. i felt so focused and on track when i was released from Cloud......now i feel like i am floating out into oblivion.
well those are the thoughts running around in my head. Maybe i am over thinking things? Maybe i am desiring to much? Maybe i am being to picky?
Until next time
~fledgeling~
This quote from k's blog really made me think. Ever since i was released from Cloud i still think of what He would have me do or how He would help guide me threw a situation. i think about His thoughts more than Sir Micheal. Even to this day i still look to Cloud for advice. i value and trust His opinion. Does that mean i haven't truly left? Then i read in a comment by Cloud this afternoon: "as far as taking you back from what you write I do not think you really ever left"
When i first meet Cloud online i knew within a few emails that i could trust Him. i tend to really trust my intuition and i am usually right. (Not to pat myself on the back or anything it's just something i trust in myself) Even with this recent Dom i met online i looked to Cloud to help me. Deep down i knew this Dom wasn't right for me but i still looked to Him for advice. i wonder why?
i am SOOOOOOO longing for a Dom in my life right now. i feel i need the control more now than ever. i have felt this burning desire inside me for so long. It is like i am half way there but never get all the way. UGH!!!!!
i need the control. i want the control. It's not just sexual. i desire the day to day control. i desire to get my mind refocused on my submission. That is something i find i struggle with on my own. i try to focus my submission when i am with Sir Micheal or my mate, but there is always this sense of something missing. It's like i am surrounded by people who love and care for me but just can't give me all i desire. Am i being selfish or do i just know what i want?
i feel at a crossroads of sorts. It's like i could try and move forward with my submission or i could just push it back down and move on as things are now. i have been on my own for quite some time now and i am starting to feel lost again. i felt so focused and on track when i was released from Cloud......now i feel like i am floating out into oblivion.
well those are the thoughts running around in my head. Maybe i am over thinking things? Maybe i am desiring to much? Maybe i am being to picky?
Until next time
~fledgeling~
Did they change the formula
A nice set of balls already to be torture a dash of absorbine junior and and nothing a mild warming perhaps. Did testicles toughen up so much .
A535 deep heat cream. and here is how I do it. A nice close shave of just the balls and if need be the penis. Make sure the slave has let it grow for at least a week. then apply nice warm towels to help the balls relax. When nice and far out of the body apply the cream to the balls and if you are really nasty the penis also. Now I usually tie their hands to the rafters I let their feet free to entertain us with a little dance. Then sit back and enjoy the show the real burn comes in a few minutes and last for a long time. The shaving allows the cream to touch almost new skin. The best thing is when it all dies down and the slave is taken down suggest a shower and wait for the first drops of water to hit those testicles you most likely to hear some singing in the shower. SO you now have turned you slave into a song and dance slave with just a little cream and little effort on your part.
Oh make sure yo are playing with a pain slut
CLoud
A535 deep heat cream. and here is how I do it. A nice close shave of just the balls and if need be the penis. Make sure the slave has let it grow for at least a week. then apply nice warm towels to help the balls relax. When nice and far out of the body apply the cream to the balls and if you are really nasty the penis also. Now I usually tie their hands to the rafters I let their feet free to entertain us with a little dance. Then sit back and enjoy the show the real burn comes in a few minutes and last for a long time. The shaving allows the cream to touch almost new skin. The best thing is when it all dies down and the slave is taken down suggest a shower and wait for the first drops of water to hit those testicles you most likely to hear some singing in the shower. SO you now have turned you slave into a song and dance slave with just a little cream and little effort on your part.
Oh make sure yo are playing with a pain slut
CLoud
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Communications.
Communications.
First these are how I work if you do not know yet there is no book of rules so this is how I do it and why.
I like to talk to a person on the other end of the line that enjoys many of the things I do. I am polite and honest with them and expect the same in return. I want to see quiet manners and respect. I do not like it when some one calls me Master in the first email. I have chosen the handle or name of Cloud for that reason. If some one calls me master in the first email I guess then they have given themselves to me already and there is no need to talk about hard limits or likes and dislikes.
SO to start with a slave should be able to express herself as to what they like or what they are looking for. They should be able to ask at least twenty questions of me. Should they not be able to then they have not really thought the slave idea through well enough for me.
Rules to follow:
1. Be honest
2. Be on time
3. Call me Cloud unless you are giving yourself to me then and there.
4. Answer my questions with answers not just more questions
5. Be polite
6. Know what my profile says
7. Know what about me is of interest to you.
Easy rules I feel not many and simple to understand. I like slaves that are intelligent and strong they are my first choice and as their spirit lessend so do they drop a bit on my list.
CLoud
First these are how I work if you do not know yet there is no book of rules so this is how I do it and why.
I like to talk to a person on the other end of the line that enjoys many of the things I do. I am polite and honest with them and expect the same in return. I want to see quiet manners and respect. I do not like it when some one calls me Master in the first email. I have chosen the handle or name of Cloud for that reason. If some one calls me master in the first email I guess then they have given themselves to me already and there is no need to talk about hard limits or likes and dislikes.
SO to start with a slave should be able to express herself as to what they like or what they are looking for. They should be able to ask at least twenty questions of me. Should they not be able to then they have not really thought the slave idea through well enough for me.
Rules to follow:
1. Be honest
2. Be on time
3. Call me Cloud unless you are giving yourself to me then and there.
4. Answer my questions with answers not just more questions
5. Be polite
6. Know what my profile says
7. Know what about me is of interest to you.
Easy rules I feel not many and simple to understand. I like slaves that are intelligent and strong they are my first choice and as their spirit lessend so do they drop a bit on my list.
CLoud
Monday, November 3, 2008
Old School Ways ... He Teaches Me Well, My Mentor
A little to the left He says …..Keep your wrist locked …It’s all in the focus of the stroke, as He continues.
‘Whack’ ….. Whack, Whack …..
Hmmmm, as the sound of it echoes thru My basement walls, resonating as a sweet pounding rhythm to My ears, combined with the shiver, and mild jolt of the slaves torso trying in vain to escape My inflicting pain.
Yes, I am beginning to understand the sweetness of it all.
Since the beginning, My initiation as a Domme is unfolding in such a delicious way.
‘What is it that ‘You’ want Agdistis? As My Mentor poses the question to Me. Yes, quite, what is it that any of Us/us want in this lifestyle? Be Domme, or slave?
Does it even matter?
As long as We/we ‘feel’ something. Be it pain or pleasure, or both.
But what is it that ‘I’ want? I know this…:
‘Whack’ ….. Whack, Whack …..
Hmmmm, as the sound of it echoes thru My basement walls, resonating as a sweet pounding rhythm to My ears, combined with the shiver, and mild jolt of the slaves torso trying in vain to escape My inflicting pain.
Yes, I am beginning to understand the sweetness of it all.
Since the beginning, My initiation as a Domme is unfolding in such a delicious way.
‘What is it that ‘You’ want Agdistis? As My Mentor poses the question to Me. Yes, quite, what is it that any of Us/us want in this lifestyle? Be Domme, or slave?
Does it even matter?
As long as We/we ‘feel’ something. Be it pain or pleasure, or both.
But what is it that ‘I’ want? I know this…:
- To be filled to capacity. Where the sensations are intoxicating.
- To know that the slaves I accept come to Me willingly and seek no substitutes.
- A slave who is as fearless as I am in their natural state and who knows whom they are.
I want, I yearn, I need, I ache ….
Can a slave ‘really’ full-fill this Domme? Do they have the capacity to even understand the level of responsibility She would carry for them?
So now, I will follow and embrace the teachings of the ‘old school ways.’ As this ‘rite of passage’ is being given to Me as a gift. To utilize and measure both My ability in the simple tortures of a slave, to the responsibility of providing guidance, care and protection.
As well, because I know it will deliver Me what I seek …
- Agdistis
Friday, October 31, 2008
What drives me on
What drives me on is how much pain can I inflict before the safe word. How much humiliation can I dump on them how close can I go to their edge? I draw enjoyment by their determination to out last my sessions. Fiercely holding on to that last shred of dignity as I slowly strip them of it.
Yesterday I was demonstrating how to use a rod on the backside of my slave boy. I tried to keep it clinical talking to my Agdistis through the strokes but found myself getting more and more into the rhythm of the stroke. It was so much fun watching the welts raise on his white ass. Then with my small paddle I gave a short course on the rapid-fire method of paddling. This type is seen in movies aas the governess is disciplining her charge with very quick unrelenting stokes, delivering several in a few seconds. slave boy danced to try and get away from them but I chased his squirming ass around to deliver a lovely reddening to it. He of course was tied to the rafters but with enough movement to make a sport of it. I love this stroke when they are bent over my knee they kick and squirm and curse as the paddle stings their ass like a thousand bees. SO much fun to see that reaction in the poor little things trying to be so brave, trying so hard to resist their quest of pleasure.
Poor slave looked at me when I told Agdistis how to use the leather belt. That she should not swing to hit his ass, but instead pretend to have a sword and then aim that you wish to cut through his as driving the blade to the back of his penis. The stance of course should be to the side of the slave to allow this stroke plus you can see the pain filled expression on his face when the follow through brings you hand past his body. Oh yes and you get to hear those grunts that they try to muffle. .
Next time I think it will be clothes pegs and tooth picks lets see how little things can cause all sorts of fun.
CLoud
Yesterday I was demonstrating how to use a rod on the backside of my slave boy. I tried to keep it clinical talking to my Agdistis through the strokes but found myself getting more and more into the rhythm of the stroke. It was so much fun watching the welts raise on his white ass. Then with my small paddle I gave a short course on the rapid-fire method of paddling. This type is seen in movies aas the governess is disciplining her charge with very quick unrelenting stokes, delivering several in a few seconds. slave boy danced to try and get away from them but I chased his squirming ass around to deliver a lovely reddening to it. He of course was tied to the rafters but with enough movement to make a sport of it. I love this stroke when they are bent over my knee they kick and squirm and curse as the paddle stings their ass like a thousand bees. SO much fun to see that reaction in the poor little things trying to be so brave, trying so hard to resist their quest of pleasure.
Poor slave looked at me when I told Agdistis how to use the leather belt. That she should not swing to hit his ass, but instead pretend to have a sword and then aim that you wish to cut through his as driving the blade to the back of his penis. The stance of course should be to the side of the slave to allow this stroke plus you can see the pain filled expression on his face when the follow through brings you hand past his body. Oh yes and you get to hear those grunts that they try to muffle. .
Next time I think it will be clothes pegs and tooth picks lets see how little things can cause all sorts of fun.
CLoud
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sessions or just a slaves life
I use the word but dislike the concept of it. Session has been used as a word for reward and for punishment. IT almost seems like a date which is just not evil enough for me. Slavery does not stop after a session nor does it begin with the doorbell. I expect a slave to be in that mode 24/7 for me not just when they will see me or get a reward. Just because I am not there does not mean there are not rules and protocols to follow. It is not all about their little asses being beaten so they can enjoy flight.
What would I call it just a day in the life of my slave.Some days her performance is based on how she follows what I set down and some on how she serves me when I am there. Expectations for a slave should be only that I used her as I see fit.
I will have to say that the most interesting times I have with slaves is when they do not expect me to show up . Standing outside their door I call to say I am coming over then wait two minutes and ring the bell. If they have followed what I set down there is no problem but then how many slaves when given the idea that there is no possible way I would show up do not relax a bit. So for lack of a better word those sessions are so fun for me as they sweat having run around taking off their clothes or cleaning up so fun to see that face of shock when they open the door.
So, I guess till I figure out some new phrase I will have to call them session.
CLoud
What would I call it just a day in the life of my slave.Some days her performance is based on how she follows what I set down and some on how she serves me when I am there. Expectations for a slave should be only that I used her as I see fit.
I will have to say that the most interesting times I have with slaves is when they do not expect me to show up . Standing outside their door I call to say I am coming over then wait two minutes and ring the bell. If they have followed what I set down there is no problem but then how many slaves when given the idea that there is no possible way I would show up do not relax a bit. So for lack of a better word those sessions are so fun for me as they sweat having run around taking off their clothes or cleaning up so fun to see that face of shock when they open the door.
So, I guess till I figure out some new phrase I will have to call them session.
CLoud
Monday, October 27, 2008
A Jounery
A journey always has a beginning . It must start either a physical or mental one. So in the lifestyle just like one in the vanilla, it can go straight but seldom does. Usually it has forks in the road or side journeys that beckon you away, you can loose direction way or find out that the road trip is just not worth it. Sometimes we find out we are just on the wrong road.
k has ,for many years journeyed along her road. Like us all now and then we must stick our heads out of the forest to make sure of our way or see if we are lost. K is now on one of those breaks . She might be back she might find a new direction to take . Lets hope what ever direction she takes her path will past this way again.
CLoud
k has ,for many years journeyed along her road. Like us all now and then we must stick our heads out of the forest to make sure of our way or see if we are lost. K is now on one of those breaks . She might be back she might find a new direction to take . Lets hope what ever direction she takes her path will past this way again.
CLoud
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Nicest words to my ears
The nicest words I have heard is when a slave has read my blogs and said that they fear me. So much power given to me already and they have not met me only read my words.
Fear is such a delightful tool. The slave uses it to reach the ultimate goal of flight and orgasm. It is almost immediate the fear starts then the wetness forms . A trickle at first that one droplet that feels like a burning liquid runs down them internally until it reaches their lips. Fear causes some to jettison or at least wish to urinate as they hold their knees together in the hope they will not wet themselves.
Fear causes them to jump, fidget, be uncomfortable . All this caused by a few words of mine , how sweet. Do they fear their own imagination or do they fear being alone shackled and waiting for me to start. Do they fear what I can do with a flogger or do they fear, they will enjoy it just too much. Then more fear in the thought perhaps they will not experience this feeling again.
Fear a very sharp instrument to help in the enslavement of others and for the slave a path to orgasm.
Cloud
Fear is such a delightful tool. The slave uses it to reach the ultimate goal of flight and orgasm. It is almost immediate the fear starts then the wetness forms . A trickle at first that one droplet that feels like a burning liquid runs down them internally until it reaches their lips. Fear causes some to jettison or at least wish to urinate as they hold their knees together in the hope they will not wet themselves.
Fear causes them to jump, fidget, be uncomfortable . All this caused by a few words of mine , how sweet. Do they fear their own imagination or do they fear being alone shackled and waiting for me to start. Do they fear what I can do with a flogger or do they fear, they will enjoy it just too much. Then more fear in the thought perhaps they will not experience this feeling again.
Fear a very sharp instrument to help in the enslavement of others and for the slave a path to orgasm.
Cloud
Monday, October 20, 2008
Why are you here
A question asked of me by one of the first mentor Gregory. It is a question we should all asked our selves now and then. I enjoy the power and the control over others and the idea that I can do anything with in reason and they will thank me for it.
I enjoy seeing the struggle on their faces as the wait for my verdict on their work and their obedience. I enjoy seeing how much they will take to satisfy me and of course prove themselves so that they are allowed their reward of flight or orgasm.
If asked this of a slave what would they answer? Would a pain slut say that they are there because I like to inflict pain or that they need pain to fly. What makes a slave wish the beating, the humiliation , is it they need to serve or need the pain and so serve as payment for it. The control and humiliation to enhance their pleasure or is it to show what they will endure for a Master. Do they use the lack of control on their part as an excuses to do the unspeakable things desires held back by the morals of church and state. Is it the naughty pleasure of naked sexuality. Why does the slave start into the lifestyle?
CLoud
I enjoy seeing the struggle on their faces as the wait for my verdict on their work and their obedience. I enjoy seeing how much they will take to satisfy me and of course prove themselves so that they are allowed their reward of flight or orgasm.
If asked this of a slave what would they answer? Would a pain slut say that they are there because I like to inflict pain or that they need pain to fly. What makes a slave wish the beating, the humiliation , is it they need to serve or need the pain and so serve as payment for it. The control and humiliation to enhance their pleasure or is it to show what they will endure for a Master. Do they use the lack of control on their part as an excuses to do the unspeakable things desires held back by the morals of church and state. Is it the naughty pleasure of naked sexuality. Why does the slave start into the lifestyle?
CLoud
Friday, October 17, 2008
Consitence
What do most slaves want ? TO be controlled to be given a sense of purpose by having some one take the lead make the decisions and tell them what to do. Their need is to serve and do the bidding of the Master. Do not expect or wish otherwise . They do not want to be liberated or have choice they want the master choice even though they might hate it not want to do it they show how good they are by overcoming that and doing it.
A slave that does not like some thing shows how much they care by doing their best possible job in the face of adversity. The easiest way of loosing a slave give them a choice. Do not give them structure , do not discipline them , do not correct the smallest of faults and you have open a chink in your armor and worse puts doubt in their mind. Oh he no long wants me. I am not serving him well he is looking for another. they enjoy the attention with out it you cannot ecpect to turn the slave in them off and on when you want it is too much of a commitment for them to be able to do so. They must have the punishment s , the tasks and the rules.
There are like children or puppies act with a consistent firm hand and they grow strong things of value weaken the grip and they develop delinquent ways. Slaves when they feel their worse need more of a firm hand and guide to positive thinking then a nurse. NO I do not mean that at the first signs of a cold you should taken them out for some outdoor bondage in January . I mean you tell l them what to do and how to do if they do not heed your words you show your love by forcing them. A simple grab of their ear a suppository up the ass gets their attention quite quickly.
I have been told I am scary , mean , nasty and uncaring surprisingly never has one of my slaves aid this. Always from those looking on . I have been told I am strict , that I punish a lot and I am consistent and I do not go out of role with my slaves . That for me is a key.
A slave does not come to me for my looks , that I have a lot of money. It is because I give them a perception of their desires. I give control consistency, fairness and a black and white way of life. If you error you are punished , if you do good you are rewarded very simple very clear if you do what I say you do good if you choose not to you r punished how simple. No gray area no if ands or buts unless it is their butt and I am whipping it. I like power I am sadistic , they like not having power they are masochistic. I enjoy developing challenges they enjoy surpassing the difficulty to serve hmmm and so why do some Masters tinker with this concept I do not know. It is a very good think we have we compliment each other so why the need to do it differently?
These thoughts were based on a blog by littleone a friend you can read her at
WWW.wtsubbie.blogspot.com
CLOUD
A slave that does not like some thing shows how much they care by doing their best possible job in the face of adversity. The easiest way of loosing a slave give them a choice. Do not give them structure , do not discipline them , do not correct the smallest of faults and you have open a chink in your armor and worse puts doubt in their mind. Oh he no long wants me. I am not serving him well he is looking for another. they enjoy the attention with out it you cannot ecpect to turn the slave in them off and on when you want it is too much of a commitment for them to be able to do so. They must have the punishment s , the tasks and the rules.
There are like children or puppies act with a consistent firm hand and they grow strong things of value weaken the grip and they develop delinquent ways. Slaves when they feel their worse need more of a firm hand and guide to positive thinking then a nurse. NO I do not mean that at the first signs of a cold you should taken them out for some outdoor bondage in January . I mean you tell l them what to do and how to do if they do not heed your words you show your love by forcing them. A simple grab of their ear a suppository up the ass gets their attention quite quickly.
I have been told I am scary , mean , nasty and uncaring surprisingly never has one of my slaves aid this. Always from those looking on . I have been told I am strict , that I punish a lot and I am consistent and I do not go out of role with my slaves . That for me is a key.
A slave does not come to me for my looks , that I have a lot of money. It is because I give them a perception of their desires. I give control consistency, fairness and a black and white way of life. If you error you are punished , if you do good you are rewarded very simple very clear if you do what I say you do good if you choose not to you r punished how simple. No gray area no if ands or buts unless it is their butt and I am whipping it. I like power I am sadistic , they like not having power they are masochistic. I enjoy developing challenges they enjoy surpassing the difficulty to serve hmmm and so why do some Masters tinker with this concept I do not know. It is a very good think we have we compliment each other so why the need to do it differently?
These thoughts were based on a blog by littleone a friend you can read her at
WWW.wtsubbie.blogspot.com
CLOUD
Birthday weekend
Well this weekend is my birthday and Sir Micheal and my Mate have planned something special for me. i am excited with anticipation.
This will be the first time that all four of us, Sir Micheal, lucy, my Mate and myself, have been together in a session. i am nervous about the dynamic but excited at the same time. Now i have had a session with both Sir Micheal and my Mate and that was very exciting. It was amazing to watch my Mate come out of His shell. To see Him tap into His sadistic side...e.ven if it is a small one. i have all these "What If's" running threw my head. i really need to just relax, follow the rules, and do what is expected of me and all should be good. Right? Hmmm.......
i have to admit that i have had fantasies about lucy recently. she is so special to me. i worry that she isn't ready to head down this path but i trust that Sir Micheal will not put lucy in a situation she isn't ready for.
i have been reviewing the rules of Sir Micheal's house. It has been a while since i have been there in a BDSM fashion. W/we all usually just hang out and talk, but never play. i have been instructed to be clean, shaved and dressed in the outfit chosen for me. Just looking at the outfit makes me excited.
i do have a fear that my desires are going to get the better of me. i want so much for my mate to take me totally and completely under His hand, but deep down i don't think that will happen. i fear that this session will make my desire grow and i will be a brat or have an attitude. i suppose that recognizing that possibility will help me keep in check. i don't want to disappoint anyone with my selfish needs.
Rereading this i realize i sound like a very selfish submissive. i am sorry for that. my focus needs to be on my Mate and Sir Micheal....not myself. i need to spend some time focusing myself before i go.
Thank you for letting me share
~fledgeling~
This will be the first time that all four of us, Sir Micheal, lucy, my Mate and myself, have been together in a session. i am nervous about the dynamic but excited at the same time. Now i have had a session with both Sir Micheal and my Mate and that was very exciting. It was amazing to watch my Mate come out of His shell. To see Him tap into His sadistic side...e.ven if it is a small one. i have all these "What If's" running threw my head. i really need to just relax, follow the rules, and do what is expected of me and all should be good. Right? Hmmm.......
i have to admit that i have had fantasies about lucy recently. she is so special to me. i worry that she isn't ready to head down this path but i trust that Sir Micheal will not put lucy in a situation she isn't ready for.
i have been reviewing the rules of Sir Micheal's house. It has been a while since i have been there in a BDSM fashion. W/we all usually just hang out and talk, but never play. i have been instructed to be clean, shaved and dressed in the outfit chosen for me. Just looking at the outfit makes me excited.
i do have a fear that my desires are going to get the better of me. i want so much for my mate to take me totally and completely under His hand, but deep down i don't think that will happen. i fear that this session will make my desire grow and i will be a brat or have an attitude. i suppose that recognizing that possibility will help me keep in check. i don't want to disappoint anyone with my selfish needs.
Rereading this i realize i sound like a very selfish submissive. i am sorry for that. my focus needs to be on my Mate and Sir Micheal....not myself. i need to spend some time focusing myself before i go.
Thank you for letting me share
~fledgeling~
Thursday, October 16, 2008
A place to share
Thank you CLoud for offering me this place to write and share my feelings. You have always been a wonderful support for me and i am grateful for Your friendship.
i find that when i write it helps me connect with my inner self....something i wish to do more often. my inner self is where my submissive self hides away at times. i have a very demanding vanilla life and while it allows me the physical release of my submission it does not allow me the mental/spiritual connection i desire. i suppose a little background would help.....
i am married to and have shared my desires with my mate. In the beginning He did not wish to be a part of that side of my life but gave me the freedom to explore it. i was so grateful for that opportunity although i truly wished He would take the journey with me. After many years of hearing about my adventures (i have always been open with Him about what i do with others) He wanted to become a part of it. Inside i was giddy with delight but i was also scared.
i introduced my mate to a Dominant, Sir Micheal, and His slave, lucy. They are very close friends of mine that i was able to share my submission with. Sir Micheal was very open to helping to my mate learn about the lifestyle from a Dominant perspective. W/we have come very far since that first meeting but not as far as i wish.
my mate has taking a liking to bondage and the more sexual side (if you will) of the lifestyle. He loves controlling that aspect of my life but i desire more. It is almost like a catch 22...give a person a little and they want more and more. That's how i feel. While i love the bondage and control He has instituted in my life i want more control outside of the bedroom. my desire to release my submissive side grows with each day.
Sir Micheal is unable to help me with this because He is finding His way again with lucy. He can't devote the time and energy He would need to me and He feels it would be doing me a disservice to not be able to give me 100%. i understand and i am grateful to Him for all that He has given to me and my Mate.
i guess i am hoping that this blog can be an outlet for my inner submissive that is struggling for release. i want to reconnect with that side of myself and find my way again.
Thank you for letting me share!
~Fledgeling~
i find that when i write it helps me connect with my inner self....something i wish to do more often. my inner self is where my submissive self hides away at times. i have a very demanding vanilla life and while it allows me the physical release of my submission it does not allow me the mental/spiritual connection i desire. i suppose a little background would help.....
i am married to and have shared my desires with my mate. In the beginning He did not wish to be a part of that side of my life but gave me the freedom to explore it. i was so grateful for that opportunity although i truly wished He would take the journey with me. After many years of hearing about my adventures (i have always been open with Him about what i do with others) He wanted to become a part of it. Inside i was giddy with delight but i was also scared.
i introduced my mate to a Dominant, Sir Micheal, and His slave, lucy. They are very close friends of mine that i was able to share my submission with. Sir Micheal was very open to helping to my mate learn about the lifestyle from a Dominant perspective. W/we have come very far since that first meeting but not as far as i wish.
my mate has taking a liking to bondage and the more sexual side (if you will) of the lifestyle. He loves controlling that aspect of my life but i desire more. It is almost like a catch 22...give a person a little and they want more and more. That's how i feel. While i love the bondage and control He has instituted in my life i want more control outside of the bedroom. my desire to release my submissive side grows with each day.
Sir Micheal is unable to help me with this because He is finding His way again with lucy. He can't devote the time and energy He would need to me and He feels it would be doing me a disservice to not be able to give me 100%. i understand and i am grateful to Him for all that He has given to me and my Mate.
i guess i am hoping that this blog can be an outlet for my inner submissive that is struggling for release. i want to reconnect with that side of myself and find my way again.
Thank you for letting me share!
~Fledgeling~
A gathering
I am pleased to announce that another of my past slaves will return to write to this blog. Giving us thoughts and feelings from a unique and different place. Here name was fledgling I feel though she has grown more into a song bird we sit in anticipation for her first post.
minion has also returned to my protection she has lost her way a bit and has requested sanctuary with me. she will be giving us the views of a experience slave both her past journey but more important what lays ahead and her feelings on subjects.
Adgistis has given me delightful news that she will be staying with us in the great white north for a while longer just means some slave boys ass will be nice and warm for the winter painful but warm. As for my friend littleone well I am sure she would love to abuse you for a session or two.
I look forward to next couple of months.
minion has also returned to my protection she has lost her way a bit and has requested sanctuary with me. she will be giving us the views of a experience slave both her past journey but more important what lays ahead and her feelings on subjects.
Adgistis has given me delightful news that she will be staying with us in the great white north for a while longer just means some slave boys ass will be nice and warm for the winter painful but warm. As for my friend littleone well I am sure she would love to abuse you for a session or two.
I look forward to next couple of months.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
A New Journey
CLoud, My Mentor …. My friend. Even tho’ you know … Thank You.
To Begin a new journey …. Where does one really start?
How does one know that as they begin and where they now find themselves is not a choice, but where they must be.
Yet, having the ‘sense’ of …. I’m here, that I belong and can now live My true self takes …
Opportunity …
Taking that first nervous step, yet once unleashed transforms into an action of Fearlessness.
With the gentle guidance of My Mentor CLoud, I have been given that opportunity. Like a wave of anticipation that has finally penetrated its mark, I feel Alive, and want more (and as He knows …) very much more!
Whether You/you are a Master/Dom/Domme or slave/sub. For all of Us/us it has to begin somewhere.
Of course, there are stumbling blocks along the way, situations with others that one is lead to believe may develop further, yet not. No matter, it all comes around as it should and is meant to.
At this point in time I am a fledgling … yet, My soul vibrates with all the rhythms of My past lives that have lived this way before. I believe it is also ‘why’ when I’m fully engaged with what CLoud provides to Me for My feeding … it doesn’t really feel like I’m being trained. Moreover it just feels like confirmation of how I knew I would be as My mind quickly races into the ‘next’ scene well before what is in front of Me is even completed.
So, what does all this ranting really mean?
Even though as I am one whom has only emerged into this scene, I know it is a world that I have lived and inhaled deeply many times before.
So quickly My Dominant spirit has unwrapped itself. So effortlessly I fall in step with CLoud’s introduction to that next level of awareness He knows I must embrace. He provides Me His slaves for My training, knowing it is only to build the foundation for My true self to emerge.
Now only to find one who can complement Me in the purest of forms and join Me … Yet in time, I am sure they will present themselves.
- Agdistis
To Begin a new journey …. Where does one really start?
How does one know that as they begin and where they now find themselves is not a choice, but where they must be.
Yet, having the ‘sense’ of …. I’m here, that I belong and can now live My true self takes …
Opportunity …
Taking that first nervous step, yet once unleashed transforms into an action of Fearlessness.
With the gentle guidance of My Mentor CLoud, I have been given that opportunity. Like a wave of anticipation that has finally penetrated its mark, I feel Alive, and want more (and as He knows …) very much more!
Whether You/you are a Master/Dom/Domme or slave/sub. For all of Us/us it has to begin somewhere.
Of course, there are stumbling blocks along the way, situations with others that one is lead to believe may develop further, yet not. No matter, it all comes around as it should and is meant to.
At this point in time I am a fledgling … yet, My soul vibrates with all the rhythms of My past lives that have lived this way before. I believe it is also ‘why’ when I’m fully engaged with what CLoud provides to Me for My feeding … it doesn’t really feel like I’m being trained. Moreover it just feels like confirmation of how I knew I would be as My mind quickly races into the ‘next’ scene well before what is in front of Me is even completed.
So, what does all this ranting really mean?
Even though as I am one whom has only emerged into this scene, I know it is a world that I have lived and inhaled deeply many times before.
So quickly My Dominant spirit has unwrapped itself. So effortlessly I fall in step with CLoud’s introduction to that next level of awareness He knows I must embrace. He provides Me His slaves for My training, knowing it is only to build the foundation for My true self to emerge.
Now only to find one who can complement Me in the purest of forms and join Me … Yet in time, I am sure they will present themselves.
- Agdistis
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Am I hiding behind the cape
I do love hooded capes but not to hide behind more to produce an uneasiness or fear in the poor little subbies and slaves. Halloween is the one time where we can let evil out o public streets the onetime we can dress like the masters of old is it not. It also has been built on fear. Yes there are angels that walk the streets that night but more hooded fiends are out. The houses visited the most are the haunted ones. Fear is so sought after .
So I bring it in to the lifestyle . I do not do fet wear I do not spend thousands of dollars to make my self alluring or attractive( no amount of money could do that) . Fear on the other hand that I can do with few dollars and my own face. Fear is something that is felt in a cool breeze, in darkness, in not being in control fear is an emotion that makes the person loose self control to the point of peeing their pants if they are wearing some. All I have to do is augment what is already there, I make it a little darker, I cause the air to move so slightly over their naked flesh when they see me they catch only a glimpse if me hooded hiding my eyes they do not know what I look at nor what I think.
So the cape and hood a prop to aid in their fear that is all.
So I bring it in to the lifestyle . I do not do fet wear I do not spend thousands of dollars to make my self alluring or attractive( no amount of money could do that) . Fear on the other hand that I can do with few dollars and my own face. Fear is something that is felt in a cool breeze, in darkness, in not being in control fear is an emotion that makes the person loose self control to the point of peeing their pants if they are wearing some. All I have to do is augment what is already there, I make it a little darker, I cause the air to move so slightly over their naked flesh when they see me they catch only a glimpse if me hooded hiding my eyes they do not know what I look at nor what I think.
So the cape and hood a prop to aid in their fear that is all.
Friday, September 26, 2008
boy
So much fun to torture a man. A bit less work then a woman as his jewels are so easily accessed. When a slave enters for the first time with an erection you know he has overcome his fear or the excitement us just too great for him.
The first minute in the door the poor boy was naked on all fours getting his first punishment . He had shown up for a coffee and was supposed to wear shorts no underwear to give me free access. Shorts do not have a gusset , he now understands the difference between easy access and accessible. Mostly a training session for A a student of the lifestyle, I think for a non pain slut still with a virgin ass did well for the time spent with us. I had A experiment with cbt and had her try out her floggers turning the slave's ass nicely red and left one or two marks on his cock.
Complication of the day did not allow it to gone on very long but A was treated to her first experience whipping a man along with seeing the humiliating act of masturbating in front of others. I am sure a lot is going on in her head right now but I hope to see a blog soon on her experience.Time to reflect and think of evil things.
The first minute in the door the poor boy was naked on all fours getting his first punishment . He had shown up for a coffee and was supposed to wear shorts no underwear to give me free access. Shorts do not have a gusset , he now understands the difference between easy access and accessible. Mostly a training session for A a student of the lifestyle, I think for a non pain slut still with a virgin ass did well for the time spent with us. I had A experiment with cbt and had her try out her floggers turning the slave's ass nicely red and left one or two marks on his cock.
Complication of the day did not allow it to gone on very long but A was treated to her first experience whipping a man along with seeing the humiliating act of masturbating in front of others. I am sure a lot is going on in her head right now but I hope to see a blog soon on her experience.Time to reflect and think of evil things.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Training is one ever fully trained
First off I use the word slave for a specific group of submissive yes I do believe there is a great difference. The word slave for me is more an act of enslavement. They have lost a battle or war or have been captured . Whether through a Dominants' ability to capture them by words and actions or by their own mind betraying them. The slave falls into a role they have defined and never wish to leave it they are close to or have been tamed, that spirit and will lies mostly with the master in regards to their decision making of the BDSM lifestyle and the dominants will also hold a great deal of power in the vanilla decisions of the slave . This does not mean they are broken nor under the thumb of all just their Master's.
My answer to my title questions; no one can be totally trained unless they are totally broken what is referred to as a doormat.Slaves can be 90% trained that you do not need to rehash rules and if one is broken they with a word will resume the proper role. The sub I feel cannot , the commitment to the lifestyle is too greatly influenced by what others think , commitments to vanilla life commitments to their own sense of being. Fear of totally letting go of control and giving it over to some one else. I will not delve as to why I just say there is a difference.
The slaves I have had will curl at me feet and expect nothing more from me a submissive has great needs then that. I have great pleasure in having a slave and that drives me to give them the pleasure they so desperately seek. I also after a while will ask and accept good impute from a slave as they think on the lines of what they can do to please their dominant. A submissive and I know this through personal experience will do things to gain pleasure for themselves either by pleasing the dominant or antagonizing them. Small rule breaks , semi flippant answers not conforming to the wishes of the master.
So for me a good slave can be fully trained and errors by them are true errors. A submissive cannot they look for ways to increase the desire for their pleasure and will break rules act coy and antagonize till they get it .
My answer to my title questions; no one can be totally trained unless they are totally broken what is referred to as a doormat.Slaves can be 90% trained that you do not need to rehash rules and if one is broken they with a word will resume the proper role. The sub I feel cannot , the commitment to the lifestyle is too greatly influenced by what others think , commitments to vanilla life commitments to their own sense of being. Fear of totally letting go of control and giving it over to some one else. I will not delve as to why I just say there is a difference.
The slaves I have had will curl at me feet and expect nothing more from me a submissive has great needs then that. I have great pleasure in having a slave and that drives me to give them the pleasure they so desperately seek. I also after a while will ask and accept good impute from a slave as they think on the lines of what they can do to please their dominant. A submissive and I know this through personal experience will do things to gain pleasure for themselves either by pleasing the dominant or antagonizing them. Small rule breaks , semi flippant answers not conforming to the wishes of the master.
So for me a good slave can be fully trained and errors by them are true errors. A submissive cannot they look for ways to increase the desire for their pleasure and will break rules act coy and antagonize till they get it .
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Fear of indecision
A slave boy that I have been talking to got cold feet and could not show at our first appointment. Now has reconsider his actions. What made him make his first choice and then why the second.
Should I decide to accept him back perhaps I should put him on display for my friends to see and cause him the embarrassment he so deeply seeks perhaps an all day session with a friend of mine. Who knows I have not decided yet.
Should I decide to accept him back perhaps I should put him on display for my friends to see and cause him the embarrassment he so deeply seeks perhaps an all day session with a friend of mine. Who knows I have not decided yet.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Fear of letting go
Well I was all set to go off for a coffee with anew slave boy and low and behold an email arrived stating he would not be showing up the reason he gave was cowardice. Fear is another word for it . The questions would be what does he fear.
Is it me a sweeter kinder person well okay that might be part of it but.. I think it has to do with several fears and not pertaining to whether or not he would have his balls still attached. I think when this happens it is fear of admitting what he likes. The fear of turning fantasy into reality. Could be his fear of giving information such as this to another man, as knowledge is pure poor. Perhaps the fear of humiliation being in front of ones own sex showing not only your naked flesh but the naked slave inside.
Fear is such an unpredictable emotion it make then soar with excitement and it can make them refrain from taking the next step to their own enjoyment.
Fear is also a powerful tool for Dominants and one of the greatest drawbacks I will encourage slaves that are willing to overcome but I tend to drop slaves that hedge around it too much. I notice a lot of Dominants lead off profile and statement about safe sane and consensual. Well the games we play should be consensual but safe and sane well that is asking a lot of an extreme past time is it not. What degree is safe about a flogging or suspension what level of sane is wanting to be urinated on or buggered . Al I can say is my intent is not to damage or cause bad pain but I am thee to cause sweet and evil torture am I not.
Is it me a sweeter kinder person well okay that might be part of it but.. I think it has to do with several fears and not pertaining to whether or not he would have his balls still attached. I think when this happens it is fear of admitting what he likes. The fear of turning fantasy into reality. Could be his fear of giving information such as this to another man, as knowledge is pure poor. Perhaps the fear of humiliation being in front of ones own sex showing not only your naked flesh but the naked slave inside.
Fear is such an unpredictable emotion it make then soar with excitement and it can make them refrain from taking the next step to their own enjoyment.
Fear is also a powerful tool for Dominants and one of the greatest drawbacks I will encourage slaves that are willing to overcome but I tend to drop slaves that hedge around it too much. I notice a lot of Dominants lead off profile and statement about safe sane and consensual. Well the games we play should be consensual but safe and sane well that is asking a lot of an extreme past time is it not. What degree is safe about a flogging or suspension what level of sane is wanting to be urinated on or buggered . Al I can say is my intent is not to damage or cause bad pain but I am thee to cause sweet and evil torture am I not.
Fear
at cause so much to happen in the body and mind of a slave. Fear is mostly an ugly word no one wants to have fear. You fear the touch a sharp knife you might get cut does he know what he is doing ? Can you trust him , why did you trust him?. You fear everyday things like being late , not looking great , falling down you might get mauled by a bear. Fear is an excellent guideline fear can keep you from danger ,injury and all sorts of mayhem. It can also cause danger to appear around every corner!
The old saying a place fools rush in where angels fear to
tread. Stands out right now is it saying that angels that are pretty powerful fear that there is something with greater more power or is the fool with too much power and does not use common sense.
Most fantasies in the lifestyle have to do with fear.
Kidnapping , imprisonment. rape yet they are in our dreams. Being bound to a cross and waiting for the first stoke to land is that fear or anticipation. Do we fear what we want and let others force it upon us so that we feel someone is saying it is okay it wasn't in our control.
I know that when fear is present the session is electrified. each touch magnified. The dread of what will be has moved from from reality and much closer to that fantasy. Fear causes women to moisten and men to drip far easier. their senses are heighten and their reflexes jerky.
Fear , just the right dose goes hand and hand with enjoyment in my opinion.
The old saying a place fools rush in where angels fear to
tread. Stands out right now is it saying that angels that are pretty powerful fear that there is something with greater more power or is the fool with too much power and does not use common sense.Most fantasies in the lifestyle have to do with fear.
Kidnapping , imprisonment. rape yet they are in our dreams. Being bound to a cross and waiting for the first stoke to land is that fear or anticipation. Do we fear what we want and let others force it upon us so that we feel someone is saying it is okay it wasn't in our control.I know that when fear is present the session is electrified. each touch magnified. The dread of what will be has moved from from reality and much closer to that fantasy. Fear causes women to moisten and men to drip far easier. their senses are heighten and their reflexes jerky.
Fear , just the right dose goes hand and hand with enjoyment in my opinion.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
A new blog
It has been at least a year since I started a new blog. Mostly I have started them to provide a different space for myself to put down different subjects. Being that I was split between at least three lifestyles I felt I needed it. Now I grow tires of the tedium of carrying on so many of them . So as far as my bdsm side this will be the only one I will write to in the future.
This blog will be of a single minded nature My enjoyment and views of the Dominant life. I have given up on most of the other parts of the lifestyle and will exist in and for the Cloud side and vanilla sides of life. I have left the Medieval groups, the switch groups or will shortly and will sit back and have those that wish to serve, serve me and call it a day for the rest. I hope to offer a place for others to write under the Darklight banner for now there will just be myself .
All that said I am visiting with a new slave boy today , A brand spanking new Domme and an ex slave this week . Those will be amongst the first blogs as well as some theoretical views on training and thoughts on slaves.
I hope you will enjoy my writings.
This blog will be of a single minded nature My enjoyment and views of the Dominant life. I have given up on most of the other parts of the lifestyle and will exist in and for the Cloud side and vanilla sides of life. I have left the Medieval groups, the switch groups or will shortly and will sit back and have those that wish to serve, serve me and call it a day for the rest. I hope to offer a place for others to write under the Darklight banner for now there will just be myself .
All that said I am visiting with a new slave boy today , A brand spanking new Domme and an ex slave this week . Those will be amongst the first blogs as well as some theoretical views on training and thoughts on slaves.
I hope you will enjoy my writings.
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