A place to share

Thank you CLoud for offering me this place to write and share my feelings. You have always been a wonderful support for me and i am grateful for Your friendship.

i find that when i write it helps me connect with my inner self....something i wish to do more often. my inner self is where my submissive self hides away at times. i have a very demanding vanilla life and while it allows me the physical release of my submission it does not allow me the mental/spiritual connection i desire. i suppose a little background would help.....

i am married to and have shared my desires with my mate. In the beginning He did not wish to be a part of that side of my life but gave me the freedom to explore it. i was so grateful for that opportunity although i truly wished He would take the journey with me. After many years of hearing about my adventures (i have always been open with Him about what i do with others) He wanted to become a part of it. Inside i was giddy with delight but i was also scared.

i introduced my mate to a Dominant, Sir Micheal, and His slave, lucy. They are very close friends of mine that i was able to share my submission with. Sir Micheal was very open to helping to my mate learn about the lifestyle from a Dominant perspective. W/we have come very far since that first meeting but not as far as i wish.

my mate has taking a liking to bondage and the more sexual side (if you will) of the lifestyle. He loves controlling that aspect of my life but i desire more. It is almost like a catch 22...give a person a little and they want more and more. That's how i feel. While i love the bondage and control He has instituted in my life i want more control outside of the bedroom. my desire to release my submissive side grows with each day.

Sir Micheal is unable to help me with this because He is finding His way again with lucy. He can't devote the time and energy He would need to me and He feels it would be doing me a disservice to not be able to give me 100%. i understand and i am grateful to Him for all that He has given to me and my Mate.

i guess i am hoping that this blog can be an outlet for my inner submissive that is struggling for release. i want to reconnect with that side of myself and find my way again.

Thank you for letting me share!

~Fledgeling~