Birthday weekend

Well this weekend is my birthday and Sir Micheal and my Mate have planned something special for me. i am excited with anticipation.

This will be the first time that all four of us, Sir Micheal, lucy, my Mate and myself, have been together in a session. i am nervous about the dynamic but excited at the same time. Now i have had a session with both Sir Micheal and my Mate and that was very exciting. It was amazing to watch my Mate come out of His shell. To see Him tap into His sadistic side...e.ven if it is a small one. i have all these "What If's" running threw my head. i really need to just relax, follow the rules, and do what is expected of me and all should be good. Right? Hmmm.......

i have to admit that i have had fantasies about lucy recently. she is so special to me. i worry that she isn't ready to head down this path but i trust that Sir Micheal will not put lucy in a situation she isn't ready for.

i have been reviewing the rules of Sir Micheal's house. It has been a while since i have been there in a BDSM fashion. W/we all usually just hang out and talk, but never play. i have been instructed to be clean, shaved and dressed in the outfit chosen for me. Just looking at the outfit makes me excited.

i do have a fear that my desires are going to get the better of me. i want so much for my mate to take me totally and completely under His hand, but deep down i don't think that will happen. i fear that this session will make my desire grow and i will be a brat or have an attitude. i suppose that recognizing that possibility will help me keep in check. i don't want to disappoint anyone with my selfish needs.

Rereading this i realize i sound like a very selfish submissive. i am sorry for that. my focus needs to be on my Mate and Sir Micheal....not myself. i need to spend some time focusing myself before i go.

Thank you for letting me share

~fledgeling~