Look who is begging at my door

Well bob has come back begging to be given another chance. I have sent out what I need from him and now it is up to him to prove himself to me. Yes I know why take him back Most would not.

It is my feeling that slaves will always make mistakes some times those mistakes will harm the dominant’shonour or feelings toward the slave, I am just one of those dominants that can forgive poor behaviour and errors by slaves as long as they pay for their mistakes. I do believe that punishment is a need of every slave. Some times their perception of hard limits and humiliation are tainted by vanilla standards. Thoughts of freedom or getting what they want is too important to them and if things do not go their way their fantasy they stand up and say no. In the strongest fashion yet regret their words almost immediately.

I do think there is times you should never take a slave back but not this time. When a slave leaves a master many times it is because of communications. Some thing triggers the vanilla side of respect and they stand up and say no more. Then realizing they have failed in their slavery they are full of remorse for that failure that they willing give up the hard limits that restricted their service. They fully give control over to the master thus re-gaining their composure and fully give over control to another, which is what bob has done.

The price he will pay will be that his punishment will be before others. That is for dishonouring me he did not ask for release but instead told me no way would he continue. He will get a total of seventy-five strokes unless he errors this week then it will be more. Fifty will be delivered to his ass fifteen to his inner thighs a weak spot for bob and ten to his precious little penis and balls just so he knows who owns them.

Then I will decide if he will be used only as a training tool or as my personal slave. My belief is that there is no such a thing as a trained slave they need the attention, constant supervision and punishment as well as play sessions. Intense some times, draining on the energy of the dominant yes but that is why I am here to control and give the sweet evil torture of pain that they crave, to allow then to serve without their knowledge as to how.

Boggles the mind when you think about things

I train dominants with idea of what my slave side wants a dominant to be. I have been mindful of this but wonder if it can ever be separated. When in dominant role I am told I am strict, evil and nasty. I do not hold with mistakes and punish at the slightest provocation. This of course is how I feel I need to be treated as a slave.

I enjoy being the centre of attention. SO having some one constantly watching to make sure I am behaving is certainly a big part of my slavery. Could be why one of the few role playing I really get into is teacher student. I enjoy CFmn a great deal is I see it also relates to my need for attention as being the only one naked in a room with every one else dressed does sort of make you a focal point. That old nightmare of being naked in school or at work is a dream not a nightmare for me. In this manner there is no mistaken who is the slave. Humiliation play that I inflict especially with male slaves a way of putting myself further above the slave by it’s degrading nature. Equally, when done to me puts me wishing to be the lowest from of slave I can. Humiliation of my male equipment could be compensation for my small penis. A man well hung would enjoy attention due to size not quite the same kind of attention but it is attention.

All aspects of what I show dominants in training from rimming to feet licking all protocols to cp have to do with what I want as a slave. Humiliation robs me of my mental strength, it strips me of my respect and the bondage, ass play and corporal punishment takes away from my physical side.

Two of my strongest fantasies are to be the victim of a slave revolt where some of my former slaves decide to teach me a lesson by switching roles. All that I had done to them comes back to haunt me as their slave. The other is that the dominants that I have trained find out my desire to slave for them and they, at a gathering break me through the ranks. Stripped and marked as a traitor to the cause forced to slave for the group for the rest of my existence. Various variations of this play regularly through my mind.

Since there is no set way nor rules written in stone for the training of a dominant as there is non for the lifestyle, I am not breaking with protocols. Since I training in Dominant mode it is not topping from the bottom but is it a consensual thing am I forcing my views in the hope gaining what I want not their desires. That I find one dominant that lives up to my standards and surpassed them. Is there a dominant that will wish to step out of my shadow by forcing me into theirs, through my submission to them. Perhaps one of my ex-slaves would enjoy watching my humiliation as their spit washes the respect away they once gave to me.

SO if this is really what I want to be a slave to the perfect dominant in my mind then is it time to put away my dominant toys and guise and choose the side that seems to pervade my thoughts constantly.

Boggles the mind when a switch starts to wonder about choosing sides!

CLoud

Oh no it is a switch

It is funny in a lifestyle such as this that we can accept many different kinks except those that switch. Ones tht enjoy both sides of the whip you could say. I have heard when Doming that I am not a true dominant, I have been called a undecided, incomplete A want to be and of course not a real lifestylers. I have experienced perplexing questions such being asked by a slave how could I enjoy being a slave. Which is a question that makes me think about some one’s interest in the lifestyle. If a slave cannot understand the enjoyment of slavery then why is he here?

So in the future let it be known tht I am a switch and my reasons for switching are tht I like it and tht is how I was trained. If you cannot accept that move along and find your self a real dominant that does not know why you enjoy things as they have never tasted the whip or liked a shoe

A rant

It is funny that my name has things in it that either obscure vision or hides the features of what is seen. Like dust or cobwebs on old books disturb only so often for a tad of information. They fog the vision and make it hard to read.

Protocols are meant to to be easy to understand to provide clarity and the proper way to act in a situation for a slave and dominant. Sadly there is not a book of protocols as many as I have said before. IN a lifestyle that preaches on rules and regulations we have no real shared and accepted by all as the base for any lifestyle relation. Funny is it not! I would gues the lifestyle should not even carry that title, as there is nothing shared no rules, no set way of domining. We do not wear the same clothing. What makes this a lifestyle?

I have looked in all those dust, the books on my shelf and do not see an answer. Worse I see in the lifestyle those I wish not to associate with yet I am associated with them as we have similar enjoyments just they took it past consensual. I see those that in vanilla life are so miss-match as the slave intelligence and stature in vanilla life far exceeds their master’s achievements yet they kneel in respect to one that would not be given second thought. There eis no quality control as there is no school for dominants nor are they required to pass a test, they do not even have to taste how it is to be on the other side of the stick. They merely have to create a name that has master in it and looks dominant. Imagine if you could do that in medicine. Doctor Darklight hmmm now knowing that would you let me operate? We do though so really is it a lifestyle or vultures hovering over head of those that seek but cannot find something or some one to respect. To give up control to, to allow to take over the body and mind is the desire so intense ath they will settle for way less then what they would in vanilla life.

I guess it is a lifestyle of those that are willing to let go of their ideals and settle for less. They need domination so badly that they will accept anything as a dominant let alone a master. Ask any male slave above the age of forty and you might find out that this is so very true. They are the ones that call you master in the first email. They say yes my master even thought they are not collared they are a sad lot but I think they are the only part of the lifestyle that have a shared value.

I thing that is why the old stories of the houses in Europe intrigue some of us so much. There was order, rules. Rites of passage and of course protocols for every thing. Even as a Dom functioning in such an environment is far easier then what we call the lifestyle of today. Doms that wear collars slaves that have degrees of service by title a bottom, sub, slave. Would be nice just to return to simpler ways but then I thought I was when I was in the lifestyle. I feel too much vanilla has seeped in too many that could not take the harshness of the lifestyle and have succeeded in watering it down to the pale image that is now the bDSM community. All this to say if I hear one more lifestylers say anything about safe or sane I will puke. Perhaps it might become a new fetish wear I do not know but it is consensual what I do it is not safe , it is not sane by normal standards.

I have had my little rant I am going back to my sabbatical from blogging and will remain silent until of course I have to puke again.
At best a rant

Inner exploration

I have been quiet for a while and will be for at lease two more weeks. call it an education or a finding of oneself call it what you want just want to let every one know that a bear did not get me on my kyacking just need some time .

The first time I was shown how far a slave would go was when I was 19. My girlfriend at the time Joanne and I were camping. WE plated a late night game of strip poker while camping. She had lost so I owned her clothes and best of all the rest of her cloths were in the car in our back pack. So when she said she was thirsty I said in a joking manner go get it . This wild look came over her face and she said Like this I said yes and my journey truly started in Domming. The shock and excitement caused by her going out of the tent naked was the greatest I had since being spanked myself by two older girls I had played strip poker with when I was fifteen.
or sub.
This would be the first time I dommed anyone for an extended period of time. I had to see how far she would go after that. After she had returned she literally jumped me talking a mile a minute about her walk from he tent to the picnic table a short ten feet but to her it was a mile long and could we do more things like that. During a walk through the wilderness I had her remove her top and stroll along in her bra then I had her remove it also. I was drunk with excitement more about the power I had over her then what she was actually doing .I use her wish to be controlled to explore what I could do with her. Spanking,bondage , outdoor bondage all sort of things I did not yet know the name of we did in out sojourns in camping. One of the keys that drew me deeper into the lifestyle was that even though she had great fear of discovery her desires only need a slight push or suggestion and there she was butt naked. I soon found out there are a lot of people out there that cannot do things that they enjoy with the kind push of a Dominant. I have since enjoy their desires to the nth degree.

So little time

A thought many of us have is based that we do not have enough time to enjoy the lifestyle. Yet we are such wasters of time. The incorporation of the lifestyel into our vanilla existence is so easy. Going to a grocery store a mundane hour or two but perhaps the insertion of a butt plug and a can really enhance the journey. The strange feeling as your sub fights to hold it in while being sent on errans . Such as being in aisle 23 adn ask you sub to get butter in aisle 1 . A tack bra use by one of my friends to go to a munch and of course hug everyone that came in the door. Remote controlled vibrators plastic panties diappers are an easy one as you fill the diaper with a substance such as molasses I hope I spelled that right then go shopping as the day goes on the molasses gets a bit sticker and more bothersome to the point that if they were given the permission to do so they woudl rip it off in front of a crowd of people.

For a more visual one could have a sub female of course were a short skirt with larger then normal underwear . Hopefully the friction of the skirt will cause the underwear to work it's way down causing constant re-adjust ment add to this a but plug of ginger and you will have a wiggling and shaking going on what fun.

So truly you never have to have a dull moment waiting for the next session do you.