For those that wonder where i have gone to.

There are times when I tried to express myself and failed terribly. Spelling was horrible . Trying to put my thoughts into words turn out to be almost  impossible.

I have been diagnose recently with  Parkinson's disease .While it is in the start of second level of four  I do see how much of an affect it has taken on my thoughts and expression of those ideas and thoughts.Now that I know what the cause is I will be altering tmy life so I can best translate thought to written. Right now I do not feel I have the control over myself to dominant  anyone even just for a session. I do feel I have enough to be a slave as that would give control over to one in full control. I am still one that loves pain and protocols and humiliation .

I look forward to future endavers in the lifestyle.

minion was an excellant slave for me . she also had  a dominant side , She loved to dominate women. She had a sadistic mind and worked on them without compassion or use of safe words. One small problem she could not do it to men no matter how submissive they were.

This makes me sad as i have now taken a walk to the other side and taken up the yoke of slave i would love to experience her nasty side . i think the payback would be wild, a shame.

drakor66

A few years ago i did some work for a Domme who introduce me to outside showers with a garden hose, power nozzle and power tooth brushes. The outside showers i have not been able to keep up, you really need some one to hold and point,  but the use of the tooth brush and paste i have. Most enjoyable when used on the anus and no it is not the one i use for my teeth.

Depending on the toothpaste it can give you that fresh tingling feeling that does lat for a while . Surprising refreshing and gives a real feeling of being clean.The best time for me is right after a shave .

Never said thanks to Her for that one so incase you still read me thanks for the fun.

i am rather enjoying my sabatical from the dominant side. Submission has a restful feeling about it . Certainly at this point of time it is far more stimulating . The sesations of torture brings about feelings that have not been present in me for years and i like them. The idea of being ordered around to do mundane tasks only to be told that they have to be redone might seem strange for some but the internal embarassment and humilliation is quie stimulating . I could well see that if paired with the right evil minded person i would forget about my Cloud side and only concentrate on my slavery.

A confession it has been six years since i had a slave and whipped her and truly i do not miss it . However, i do miss the stimulation of being whipped or paddled and the humiliation of it. The idea of saying this and or the fantasy of one of my old slaves take control of me with the following humiliation of being almost a fallen dominant is wonderous. The disgust in thier eyes that they allow themselves to be ruled by a slave could provide some wild sessions as they took their vengeance . Hmmm lovely would it not be.

When you sit naked in the rain do you feel the drops. Can your feel each explode on your skin feel it dance down your face until it forms again only to fall from your chin. Are you aware of it traveling over you skin til it finds others and reforms once again.Do you feel each drop in this fashion ? Now do you feel your entire skin as cover in water yet still feel each drop as the coolness of each is transfered to you? Do you feel their dance ?

Does it excite you ?

You can learn many things in a short period of tiem though many are not pleasant realisations.

At my son's wedding recently I learned how sick my brother is , I also learned that my good friend will be leaving the province and while he will only be about three hours away it might as well be China with my in ability to get around easily.

I learned that my concept of Dominant and slave are either perhistoric or fiction. I learned most dominants do not base their activities on their honour and desires but
 on what other swill think of them. Ilearned that most dominants are
scared to make a mistake so they coin fun little phrases to hide  behind.

I learned that while we have a statemetnt of who is in control the slave,  no-one really is  I learned rules do not exist they are considered more guidelines.

I learned that most dominants in their finery so not know how to dominate or how to be owners then there is the weapons they carry at their sides professing mastery over them .

I worry when entering a room full of self titled with no more experinece except what is fashionable.

I have learned that it is time to keep to myself and a few of my kind and stay away from what is the lifestyle .

Dusting

Creaking and cracking of bone., dust thick with years of stillness starts to fall as a foot seeks the floor. Could that smell be of a new toy ? Something to abuse and use to train once again. Not since minion has there been interest in to do so. Perhaps now is the time.